Thursday, January 31, 2008

Katherine Heigl Is The Most Desirable

Just like they’ve been doing every year since 2001, the people at had their readers vote on the Most Desirable Woman of 2008. This year’s winner? Katherine Heigl. Really? That’s the people’s choice? Don’t get me wrong, Katherine’s hot and all, but she wasn’t even on my radar. If you ask me, Alessandra Ambrosio got robbed! That girl’s so hot she’s got her own air traffic control. And no one should be allowed near that landing strip but me. You guys can have Katherine, because given the choice between a TV star and a lingerie model, is it even a contest?

Jewel’s Career Is Getting Hot And Spicy

Jewel’s career must be going “really” well, because here she is at some chili cook-off, and nothing screams success like getting invited to a cooking competition! Poor Jewel! You know, I’ve always loved her and her hippie ways. Especially those two beautiful bongs that I’d die to get my mouth around! Oh well, at least she looks good. I wish her better in the future!

Rihanna’s Got Milk

Well, Rihanna is the latest milk ad victim. So feast your perverted eyes on this fellas, because that girl’s got one big mess to clean off her face. I don’t know why they keep making these ads because honestly, the last thing I want to do after seeing Rihanna with goop on her face is have a glass of milk. The thought of it makes my stomach curdle.

Avril Lavigne Bikini Pictures Continue To Be A Letdown

Here are some more Avril Lavigne bikini pictures. They’re a little better than the ones we saw yesterday, but not by much. In order for me to be fully happy I have to see full backside. I don’t know why she’s hiding it by wearing boxers in the water, but I can only assume that Avril’s ass is gross until I see otherwise. Sorry, but that’s just where I stand.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Uma Thurman Bikini Pictures

I’ve never been a fan of Uma Thurman, and not even her boobies in a bikini can change that. The girl has big feet and long skinny hands, and you know what that usually means? Well, for a guy it usually means they have a big penis, but for a girl I don’t know, and honestly I don’t really want to find out!

Gemma Atkinson Is Topless In Nuts

Here’s Gemma Atkinson in the latest Nuts Magazine, and finally we’re seeing her how she was meant to be seen. You don’t even notice that her face is average at best when you’re staring at those two huge funbags that look like they’re about to explode goo all over your screen! Well, at least let’s hope it’s her goo! Sicko.

Avril Lavigne Bikini Pictures Could Have Been Better

Here are some lame pictures of Avril Lavigne in Miami having fun with one of her friends in a pool. They’re lame because there aren’t any full-body bikini shots, and judging by the small hint of cleavage we’re seeing from Avril, that’s a major let down! I know the girl may be the most obnoxious celebrity around, but her body is damn tight. My girlfriend is obnoxious too, but she has a great rack so I tolerate it! Otherwise I would have dumped the b!tch a long time ago!

Paris Hilton To Appear On Letterman Again! This Is Going To Be Good

Well if there was ever a reason to stay home Friday night, Paris Hilton returning to the Late Show with David Letterman is it! If you recall, the last time she appeared David grilled her so badly Paris looked like she was going to cry! This time though she’s out supporting her new film, and it ought to be even more fun seeing what he has to say about that. Anyway, it’s a good thing for Tivo, because the last thing I want to be doing on a Friday night is watching Paris Hilton and not doing her. Oops, did I say that out loud? My bad. Please don’t tell anyone!

Jessica Simpson Keeps Tormenting Dallas Fans

You’ve got to love Jessica Simpson! She’s still tormenting the Dallas Cowboys by wearing one of their hats. Good for her. I thought it was the most ridiculous excuse ever for Dallas fans to blame their losses on her when it was obvious that their prize-winning quarterback is a choke artist. Can you blame him though? It’s got to be hard to care much about football when you’re scoring TDs in Jessica Simpson.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Alyssa Milano Touches Me In All The Right Places

We all know that Alyssa Milano is a big sports fan, and that I’m a big fan of Alyssa’s. Here she is promoting her women’s clothing line Touch at the NHL All-Star Game. It’s a shame to see the girl so covered up though. I know it’s cold, but whatever happened to showing some skin? Alyssa was probably worried I’d make another hairy arms joke. But I’m a changed man Alyssa, I swear! I don’t care if your arms do look like Robin William’s knuckles, your breasts dont, so lets see them already.

Alessandra Ambrosio’s Bikini Pictures Make Me Consider A Career Change

Here’s Alessandra Ambrosio doing a photo shoot in Miami, and as always, looking damn good in a bikini. I used to think I had the best job in the world, but I may have finally found one better: the guy who gets paid to adjust Alessandra’s bikini. I wonder how you apply for a thing like that. Hell, they wouldn’t even have to pay me, I’d do it for free. You know what they say, to be happy, you’ve got to do what you love. And there’s nothing I’d love more than getting to put my grubby little hands all over that body.

Tila Tequila’s Boots Were Made For…

I have to say, Tila Tequila is looking mighty fine in these pictures. I’m lovin’ the tight-fitting dress and f-me boots. Now if you’ve been following the site, you’d know that I’ve been on the fence with this little Asian sensation but I think she just won me over with that outfit. Yes, I’m all for girls who look like skanks, which might explain this 103 fever I’ve got going on right now. Hmm… I don’t think the AVN awards were such a good idea. I think I might have caught something.

Britney Spears’ Topless Wardrobe Malfunction

Here’s Britney Spears rehearsing for her latest music video and once again dancing around like a stripper. This time though, she took her role to heart; one of her boobs popped out of her shirt. Britney wasn’t fast enough though, and you can see it all caught on this video. Now if there’s one thing creepier than a peeping Tom paparazzo, it’s Britney’ saggy boobie popping out of her shirt. Creeeeepy!

Jenna Jameson Pops Out Of A Cake, Should Try Eating Some

Jenna Jameson surprised her boyfriend Tito Ortiz this past weekend by popping out of a cake in more clothes than she’s used to wearing. So really, it’s not much a surprise if you ask me. It’s just kind of a letdown. A surprise would be getting the Jenna Jameson of 3 years ago back, only with more body fat and completely naked. Now that would be a gift that keeps on giving.

Katharine McPhee’s Girls Got Power

Yes, anytime a hot girl points to her huge guns, I get all defenseless and weak. It’s my Kryptonite. Katherine may have won this round, but I’ll back. And trust me, next time I’ll make sure my one-eyed laser is loaded.

Uma Thurman Bikini Pictures

I’ve never been a fan of Uma Thurman, and not even her boobies in a bikini can change that. The girl has big feet and long skinny hands, and you know what that usually means? Well, for a guy it usually means they have a big penis, but for a girl I don’t know, and honestly I don’t really want to find out!

Friday, January 25, 2008

Pamela Anderson Has Two Big Flaws

I know it’s easy to make fun of an old and tired Pamela Anderson, but occasionally she does have her moments of glory, and this is one of them. The outfit she has on is quite impressive. Now, contrary to popular belief, I get ragged on all the time by female readers for not being able to look past women’s physical flaws, and I just want to say that even though Pammie has huge and disgusting funbags, I still want to make motorboat noises between them. See, I’m not that bad after all.

Kim Kardashian’s Topless And In A Bikini

Here are some pictures of Kim Kardashian modeling for some Travis Barker clothing line. Well, at least that’s what the caption said where I got these shots. Who knew Travis was into ladies’ clothing? Now Kim definitely wouldn’t be my number one model choice if I had my own women’s clothing line, but these pictures aren’t bad. But that’s just because a half-assed Kardashian is the equivalent of 4 regular asses - and that’s a good bang for your buck.

This Hilary Duff Post May Not Be Revolutionary, But her Breasts’ Growth Is

Check out Hilary Duff pushing up her little boobies at a press conference in Brazil to help promote her upcoming “Dignity” tour. I don’t know what kind of magical bra Hilary is wearing to give her so much cleavage because I don’t see any straps, but is it possible that in the last two years Hilary went from completely non-existent boobs to a nice handful? If so, just imagine how they’ll look two years from now! I can’t wait!

Molly Sims Does Weird Sh%t With Her Puppies

I have no clue what’s going on here. All I see is Molly Sims doing some weird sh&t with her puppies, and I don’t know if I should be turned on or not because I’m afraid whatever is happening isn’t legal in most states. Anyway, for those of you who are above the law, enjoy.

Just In! Rachel Bilson Sure Eats A Lot!

I know it’s been Rachel Bilson overload here at Hollywood Tuna, but I like to think her sudden popularity and recent GQ Magazine appearance is all my doing. Not to toot my own horn, but I was doing Rachel Bilson posts long before it was cool. So now she knows who to thank! Anyway, here she is grocery shopping, and if you’re wondering how Rachel keeps that tiny little figure in such good shape, don’t ask me -because as you can see, the girl has enough food in her basket to feed an army.

Miss America Swimsuit Competition

Here are pictures of the 2008 Miss America preliminaries swimsuit competition. Most of these girls are pretty hot, but this is a step down from the Hooters Bikini Pageant we saw last year. I don’t know whose been judging these competitions, but they definitely don’t have an eye for boobs. They do, however, have an eye for girls in ugly bikinis.

Lucy Pinder Wants MTV To Stop Testing On Gorgeous Models…

Sure. Whatever Lucy Pinder wants, I’ll follow! Screw MTV! Let Hollywood Tuna do the testing on models. First I’ll start with math, then I’ll slowly move into sex ed.
OK, so I think this is some kind of mock protest for MTV’s America’s Most Smartest Model, but I’m not too sure and I’m too lazy to find out. All I know is that Lucy is with a bunch of bikini-clad hos and she’s not wearing one herself! WTF?!

Tara Reid Upskirt Pictures

I think this is Tara Reid’s first official upskirt moment. Well, kinda. She’s wearing a dress, but since there’s no term for this and “updress” doesn’t really flow, we’ll stick to upskirt for now. Anyway, here she is in London doing what Tara does best: getting drunk and being a party ho.

Demi Moore In A Bikini For V Magazine

You don’t see Demi Moore on Hollywood Tuna very often, but these photos of her in a bikini, eating a hamburger and blowing bubblegum for V Magazine are pretty hot and erotic. It mixes everything I like in the world: food, girls, and no sign of that douche Ashton Kutcher.

Kim Kardashian’s Bikini Ass Coverage Continues

Here’s Kim Kardashian at the beach covering her big fat ass once again. I hate girls that are insecure. It’s the most unattractive quality to have, even more so than a little too much junk in the trunk. That said, good thing my penis isn’t writing this post right now, because he’s on strike until I give him better working conditions.

Chantal Houghton Loves The Color Pink!

Here’s some British girl named Chantal Houghton. I don’t know why she’s famous, but obviously it’s not for being a makeup artist. But as you can see, the girl seriously loves the color pink, so much so that she’s showing us the pink between her legs. Not that kind of pink, pervert.

A Clothed Gemma Atkinson Is A Boring Gemma Atkinson

This is a first! Gemma Atkinson covered up and not looking like a ho. Kinda boring eh? Well, sorry, but it’s not my fault. Blame the girl with the funbags who’s not being so fun.

Hayden Panettiere Is The World’s Smallest Cheerleader

Here’s a little treat for you football fans: pictures of the World’s Smallest Cheerleader. OK, I guess that would be funny if it wasn’t the 30th time I’d made a Hayden Panettiere is short joke, but I can’t help myself. Just like you can’t help yourself from getting your boxers in a bunch when you see her in a cheerleading outfit. So we’re even! Enjoy.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Stacy Keibler Gets A Ride From A Hot Asian

I don’t know what this photoshoot is for, but any time you get Stacy Keibler sitting on a motorcycle behind some hot Asian chick, I’m one happy camper. I mean, how often does that really happen, right? Anyway, I’d like to have seen a little more skin between the two of them, but beggars can’t be choosers. Besides I’ve never seen Stacy in leather gear before, and I have to say, girl looks like she can ride a mean throttle… or Asian.

Jennifer Aniston Is Chilly!

I don’t do many posts on Jennifer Aniston, because ever since Brad Pitt dumped her for Angie she’s become somewhat irrelevant, just like her one-dimensional acting ability. However, unlike her acting ability, Jen’s nipples are very much three-dimensional and always seem to be trying to escape whatever tight shirt she’s got on. God bless them!

Most Popular

Looks like Mariah Carey needs some attention. Here she is posing topless, yet covered up, in the Caribbean. Gee…. I wonder if that shot wasn’t orchestrated by her publicist. You know, if Mariah is really that desperate for some media coverage, all she has to do is take some personal shots - and by personal shots, I mean her and me in my bed. So let’s cut out the middle man Mariah. Time is money and you’re not getting any younger.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Jennifer Love Hewitt Ruins A See Through Moment

Alright, we all know that Jennifer Love Hewitt has got a huge caboose, but at least on the positive side, a huge caboose usually comes with huge juggernauts. And that my friends, she does have. Unfortunately, Jennifer decided to wear a bra and hide the one good thing going for her, so shame on her and her fat ass for wasting my time.

Brittany Murphy Is Rockin’

It’s been a while since I’ve done a post on Brittany Murphy, but here she is at some Rock The Vote event in Sundance and she’s looking pretty damn good. I guess when the only thing going on in her career is being the voice of Luanne on King of the Hill, it’s pretty easy to stay out of them limelight. But that doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten about her, because we all know you sleep with your Luanne action figure every night. She’s the closest you’ll ever get to having a girl in your bed.

Sandee Westgate: The Hottest Film Critic… EVER Does Jessica Alba In Good Luck Chuck

Sandee Westgate takes on Jessica Alba this week in Good Luck Chuck and let me tell you, that’s one lesbian fantasy I’d like to see. It’s a match made in heaven. Sandee with her perfectly-shaped breasts and Jessica with her perfectly-shaped ass, what more could you ask for? Alright, enough with my sexual fantasies, let’s get back to the task at hand: what does Sandee think of Jessica Alba’s ass- I mean, film?

Lindsay Lohan’s Ass Plays Peekaboo

Here’s Lindsay Lohan out shopping in West Hollywood giving us a little peek at her perfectly-shaped butt. For you guys wondering if Lindsay has truly changed her ways, here’s the proof: the girl is wearing panties. Now that’s a little too conservative! I’d expect Lindsay to be wearing a thong at least!

Adriana Lima Topless In Esquire

Here’s Adriana Lima and her Victoria’s Secret friends in next month’s Esquire magazine. I have to say, seeing Adriana partially naked is a real treat, but what I’m especially digging is the cover! Seriously, I wouldn’t mind having all 8 of those supermodel legs wrapped around my tiny little head. Can you say breakfast, lunch, supper, and desert?

Scarlett Johansson Engaged?

Actor Ryan Reynolds and actress Scarlett Johansson are expected to announce their engagement soon. The two have been dating for eight months following the 23-year old Johansson’s break-up with Josh Hartnett and the end of 31-year old Reynolds’ engagement to Alanis Morrisette.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Leelee Sobieski Upskirt Picture

Well, this is the first time I’ve ever done a post on Leelee Sobieski, and it took a picture of her in a compromising position to do so. Yes, the girl isn’t very attractive. That said, this is also the first time viewing an upskirt moment that actually made me feel really dirty and perverted. I think I need to go take a shower and wash my eyes out with soap until they burn!

Eva Mendes Nipple Slip Video

You’ve got to love Eva Mendes! Here she is on some French show wearing a revealing dress and doing a little Q&A. When they asked her on a scale of 1 to 10 how good a dancer she was, Eva responded 12. Naturally, they wanted her to prove it. Fortunately for Eva, because of her provocative dress she was unable to do so, but she makes up for it by letting one of her nipples out during the following question. What a “clever” gal! And by clever, I mean nice boobies.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Lindsay Lohan’s Cleavage Could Use A Little Sun

It’s always good to see Lindsay Lohan out rocking a super-tight dress and some cleavage, and last night’s Cloverfield premiere was no exception. It’s definitely a nice change from all the spandex we’ve been seeing her in lately. I’m not a big fan of the fake tan lines, but if Lindsay would like to meet me in LA for some nude sunbathing, I’m sure we could get rid of those.

Sienna Miller Wins Nude Photo Case

Actress Sienna Miller today won a High Court order against a photographer who snapped photographs of her undressing during the filming of her latest movie, Hippie Hippie Shake. Miller, 26, who has already won a £37,500 payout from News Group Newspapers and the Xposure together with an undertaking not to use the pictures again, took action against photographer Warren Richardson over the snaps, taken on the film’s closed set on a private estate in Surrey.

Adrianne Curry’s Breasts Are Exquisite

Here’s Adrianne Curry on the catwalk for the Kitson/Troy Kingdom Show. I thought the girl’s career as a model was over, but thank god it isn’t. Her tennis ball-shaped funbags are exquisite! Seriously, I just came back from the Adult Expo in Vegas, where fake boobs were everywhere, and these little suckers are tastier than the 40 dollar club sandwich I accidentally bought at room service.

AVN Awards & Adult Expo Recap

Well fellas, the Adult Expo and AVN Awards were a bust. My outlook on porn stars and porn will never be the same. When you watch these girls on film it’s one thing, but to actually meet them in person and converse with them… I’ll never be able to watch another skin flick again. Horrible fake tans, make-up and bad skin was the main turn off. And the pure stupidity that comes from most of these girl’s mouths - as if they were actually famous and important - is a complete joke. Don’t get me wrong, there were a few that were pretty and nice, but that was few and far between. And the events were just as bad as the girls.

The Adult Expo had way too many horny old men (most of whom I suspect were still virgins), all waiting in line pathetically for hours to meet their favorite porn ho, and the AVN Awards were just boring and lame. We sat next to Carmen Luvana (who was one of the few nice ones) and the Best New Starlet, Bree Olsen, along with 3 other girls whose names I don’t know, but they weren’t very talkative. They seemed to be having a not so great time but unlike them I salvaged the night by getting completely hammered. Anyway, I’m not much of a photographer, but here are a few shots I took from the event. I wish I could report back to you guys and say I had the most amazing time but unfortunately, the people in the adult industry are lame. Don’t believe me? Go to one of their parties and find out for yourselves. I guarantee you’ll leave wanting to go back to your normal girlfriends and bang the sh%t out of them with pride.

Katharine McPhee And Her Funbag.

I don’t know when this picture was taken but Katharine McPhee’s funbag is lot more convenient than the funbags I normally write about on the site. This one has a place to keep your wallet, keys, smokes and it doesn’t complain when you leave the toilet seat up or look at other girls.

Rachel Bilson Is A Breath Of Fresh Air

Man, am I glad to see new pictures of Rachel Bilson! After the freak show that was the AVN Awards, seeing a girl with properly-applied makeup, a nice dress and real cleavage is a much-needed breath of fresh air, because all I’ve been smelling for the last 4 days is cheap body spray and warming lube. Anyway here she is at some event benefiting the Art Elysium.

Jenna Jameson Is Scarred

Yes, we all know that Jenna Jameson had her implants removed or adjusted or re-sized, but whatever the case, there’s a huge scar - or a reminder as I like to call it. Sure, I love big bags of fun and I encourage girls to get implants, just make sure you go see a well respected plastic surgeon and make sure to check his portfolio. Because even though getting a new set of boobs may help your self esteem, having a nasty scar afterwards won’t.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Nina Moric Bikini Pictures

I decided instead of heading back home, I’d take a drive from Las Vegas to LA and spend the rest of the week there. Well, it turns out the hotel I’m staying at has the worst internet ever and this post you’re reading took me 3 hours to put together(see what I go through for you guys!). Anyway, here are some hot bikini pictures of Nina Moric. Now you probably don’t know who she is but you should because she has lips that put your sex doll to shame and not just because she’s got a heartbeat.

Josie Maran Is A Hot Mess

Here’s Josie Maran in a terrible outfit with little or no make up and bed head at “The Business of Being Born” premiere in Hollywood. And yet she’s still looking hotter than most women who spend hours doing themselves up before heading out. Now I bet all you ladies must hate her right now, but don’t! Hate your parents! After all they’re the ones to blame for being so ugly.

Tara Reid Could Use Another Drink

Here are some pictures of Tara Reid leaving some nightclub in London looking a little worse for wear. I know in the past I’ve been giving Tara props for looking kind of hot, but after seeing her all hammered like this, she just stepped it up a notch. Honestly, the clean and sober Tara was lame! I like my celebrity hos shaken and stirred, with a squeeze of STD.